I don’t take steroids but my dog does…..

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When the WADA (World Anti doping agency) came a knocking Popeye was out there on one of his madcapped adventures....... Very convenient

Now being a health and fitness professionale and being a paler shade of white, its common that i get asked “Do you take steroids??”. Answer is always N O, I’d rather put my testicles in a vice and tighten it alternatively you could just let your mrs run your live – and you’ll get the same desired effect. See what is commonly left out on drug advice (namely the roids) is the negative effects, most importantly the shrinking of your nuts. I don’t believe any sane individual could look past this side effect, Its not as if god blessed us like saint John C. Holmes is it??

A follow up to the initial line of questioning is “have you ever thought about it bro?”. Yes i state, Have you ever thought about killing someone or robbing a bank its the same thing. Every person in their life cycle will AT LEAST once think about living outside societies normalities taking the negative reprecussions into mind. I mean my dog is on a never-ending cycle of pregnazone, I could slip a few into my nutri-grain right??

No, My dog has hip displaysia which limits his mobility and makes it difficult for him to run or walk up stairs. He use to be the most fertile of males, till he had his nuts clipped (alas he’ll never father any puppies out of wedlock). When hes on the gear, he has more energy, he can run freely, barks alot more, is real hungry and he even looks like hes enjoying himself when hes making love to the couch leg. When hes off it, Hes tired, withdrawn, sad, doesn’t talk. I haven’t noted any kind of roid rage from him though bar growling at birds that fly across his turf. Or have i noted his testies getting any smaller – maybe the fact that the old lady having them clipped put payed to this. He has to have 6 monthly kidney tests also which is a hassle. I’d imagine if he went to the gym (if possible) he’d beef up and get real ripped. That would have bad conotations for the neighbour hood felines as like his master he has a penchance for “Pussy” and all “angry” would be a real force to be reckoned with (small disclaimer – he is an honourable dog and has never acted in a manner which is deemed disrespectful to us bar crapping outside the local china man’s shops that however could be put down to his protesting about using dogs as substitute/cost effective meat in stir frys.)

Yes these type of drugs are very available, even more so then class A (according to Ex Wallaby Justin Harrison “Class A is OK” he told his proteges on a team bus). You see if you have low testorone levels you can get prescribed and jabbed by a doctor (with human growth hormone or steroids). Wouldn’t it be awesome if you could drop a tab of LSD with your local GP, you would have more of a chance of dancing with Mr Brownstone i think. Interestingly enough doctors are some of the biggest Class A narcotic abusers (Morphine, Valium etc) as they are so easy to get hold of for them. Its common knowledge many drug abusers goto the gym, Steroids are often talked about because users stand out so its only right then that you can buy them through the gym, Ummm no this isn’t Les Mills people. If you want the JUICE then you need to hit up doctors, vets, vegetarians, brethrens, mormons etcetc.

People this isn’t America, where people dream and then aspire to reach their potential legal or non-legal. We come from a country that has built up a reputation as hard workers, If God gave us lemons we’d go squeeze the c*nts and make lemonade. No goal is to far from your reach, when liberace (god rest his soul) broke his right arm what did he do?? He started wanking with his left arm making him  ambidextrous adding another quill to his bow along with the bisexuality.

Instead of leaving you a quote of the day will leave you with the lyrics from boats and hoes off the Stepbrothers movie…

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