From the ‘Only In America’ Files

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I love America. They spend millions of dollars every year on McDonalds, shiny badges and liposuction. All this in a once unchallenged super power.

You have to hand it to them though. They are passionate about things. Included in this list is hot dogs, American Football, chilli, Baseball, cheerleaders, war, pleading the 5th and guns. They also love getting in behind a cause.

One that comes to mind is the anti-fur movement, headed by everyone’s favourite scandalous sex-kitten, Pam Anderson.

While she does great things like getting naked at any opportunity including on 50m high billboards, other factions of the movement choose to take a different tact. They may not be as effective, but they are still news worthy.

Animal rights activists in Johnstown, PA decided that motorcyclists were one of the worst offenders in wearing copious amounts of leather. Their collective wisdom concluded the best defence of animals was attack – on a biker gang.

They proceeded to through water balloons full of red dye at this group of gentlemen, shouting ‘murderers’ at them and were then ‘surprised’ at the way the bikers reacted  in ways that included this:

I know what you are thinking, surely not a biker gang? Other retaliations included one man being tied to the  back of the bike in the ‘bitch’ position while one of the bikers girlfriends was out of town for the day, being tied to dumpsters with duct tape and being peed on, being forced to eat processed meat in the form of hot dogs and burgers and worst of all being farted on.

Local reporters questioned the bikers on the farting, a spokesman simply stated that farting on each other ‘was their secret handshake’.

Gotta love America.

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