Getting Poisoned At The Ivy – A Sydney Night Out
The result of yet another Basil Sex Pest interaction at the Ivy
Last week WIRB ventured to Sydney under the guise of a rugby team to play some code, but mainly to do some drinking.
We all know that the best sports teams in the world are also the best drinking teams, please don’t argue this point, just ask All Black warrior Jimmy Cowan.
What else do you do on a Thursday night on tour, but hit the local scene. The bar of choice and my top pick of the tour is the Ivy Bar. It was their “quiet night” but we thought it was packed as.
They let all 30 of tour party in, all of which went on a rampage and pillaged the bar, women and in some cases the men.
Anywho there were rumors of one participant playing the gay card so his mate could score. In the heat of battle this is totally acceptable. At the end of the day if a kill is made using an AK-47 or a RGP does it really matter?
This night was also the night we let loose Basil the Sex Pest. He managed to cock block everything in sight and set a new world record.
The majority of the team is of Samoan decent. During the course of the evening I heard a number of stereotypical comments being made like:
“My there must be about 40 bouncers working tonight” and
“That dark man who looks like a bouncer is drinking on the job… what the hell??!!”
On that, if a man orders a Cranberry & Vodka and you’re dressed like an anno emo (anorexic emotion) do not judge me punk! I don’t want to hear “it’s a girls drink” when you F**k-stick so called ausy bloke are serving it to me while wearing something that resembles a girls blouse. Only Russell Brand can pull off that look of buddy so piss off. Also, Vodka, Soda & Limes are acceptable as well.
It’s ok to be carb conscious and rugby players need to watch their power to weight ratio’s.
This bit is going to sound like a bit of a rant. Enjoying the place so much, we decided to try it out again on Friday and Saturday. It turned out that on these nights, unless you arrive in a hummerzine, have a anorexic 16 year old attached to your shoulder, can go toe toe with one of the competitors from the Contenter (not the challenger as was pointed out, sorry I don’t watch that show) or a drug dealer then you are shit out luck trying to get into this or any of the decent bars around town. Gutted.
I can highly recommend this bar though. It’’s pretty flash and extremely portentous so it means you to get to annoy and harass the f**k out of most of the patrons and staff. While I didn’t get to see it, The Ivy does have a pool for VIP members and shower access with a DJ booth. I’m told the showers are very roomy also.
Stay tuned folks I have more installed including a look at Oxford St and the notorious Kings Cross.
www.merivale.com/#/ivy/ivybar and here is the pool I was talking about www.merivale.com/#/ivy/poolclub
Vital Stats. Ivy Bar, Thursday 4 March 2010
Kills 4
Cougar kills 1
Gays 1
Fights 0
Cock blocks 25
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