• Share
  • Sharebar
  • Share

Choke that Chicken

I was talking to a chick the other day who has a brother going through that awkward stage of discovering the last toy he’ll ever need. He was telling his sister about his new found abilities (similar to when Peter Petrelli told his brother he thought he could fly in Heroes). He was saying about how if you put your hand in ice and rub one out, it feels like its someone else doing it. As I was being recounted this tale it brought back many fond memories about some techniques that have been shared with me over the years. I’ll start with the basics – in this young fella’s case ice can do damage to the delicate tissue of the hand. Instead try restricting blood flow to the area (possibly by using a tournique) or sitting on your hand for an extended period. This will numb the hand without causing the damage of ice.

Another technique is a simple one – use the other hand. A completely new sensation. There is also the reverse grip where you hold the appliance with your hand inverted from its regular gripping position. A favourite of mine which should only be attempted by advanced users is the ‘refridgerator’ whereby you reach under your leg to grab the tool. This requires some degree of flexibility and strength in the legs.

For those who like company their is the traditional getting someone else to do the work commonly referred to as an HJ. If you only have a member of the opposite sex handy and you are strictly hetero then you can try the ‘dutch rudder’ where you hold your own piece and get the other party to hold your wrist and do the ‘work’. You can simultaneously return the favour for a ‘double dutch rudder’.  There is ‘The Sandwich’  more commonly known as the ‘Christian Bale’ where you have an open palm on one side and your belly on the other. ‘The Campfire Method’ where the member is rotated between two open palms as if trying to start a fire. ‘The Wringer’ – the bottom hand low on the shaft and the top hand inverted use a ‘wringing out’ motion. Lubrication will be required to avoid the related ‘Chinese Burn’

Let WIRB know your technique.

AWRM

awellrespectedman@wheninromebro.com

Related Articles

Post Footer automatically generated by Add Post Footer Plugin for wordpress.

Share