What’s a little old grope between mates??

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Firstly please cue music, Before you read the incoming article…

Old heads at WIRB have been bantering, chin-wagging and musing their thoughts lately on one of the most controversial topics of our time.

“Is there ever a good time to grope your mates Mrs?”

Its important that you enter this visionary piece with an open mind not an open fly. This question has been on my men’s minds since the dawn of civilisation. Where is the imaginary thin blue line, In theory it sounds good but reality may you ask ?

The Situation

Your a BFF’s(best friend forever’s) pre-carnival party. There is a very ambient festive vibe amongst the do-gooder’s. White wine and normal strength beer are being consumed in high quantities. You suspect some “A Class” Drug activity, But you only see a tiny spliff floating around not even enough to get a Jamaicans 2nd best dog high on life. The girls are strewn all over the place, All looking beautiful and engaging. Many aren’t leaving much to the imagination, Many aren’t leaving anything. You pull close to the balcony on a ground level apartment (you like to live dangerously) looking outside having a smoko break (yet you don’t smoke). A siren appears to whisper in your ear, Turns out to be a raven haired other half of a mate. What do you do ?

• Maintain eye contact and don’t drop your eyes to the body-line
• Assess her alcoholic state (is she so drunk she won’t remember what transpired, Or will she run off crying rape).
• Assess Friend needs analysis (Is he a friend that you need ? Will the bounty outweigh possible mutiny on party vessel).
• Her body language (Is she inviting a quick look under her chassis, Or is she just flirty a very dirty word used by so many females today she acts like a slut but when it comes down to it she is nothing more than a prick tease).
• Her clothes (Will you get caught up in her costume and create a scene).
• How hot she is (The sexier the chick the more likely that she is ready to move on or “overlap theory” her fella. You wouldn’t want to ruin a friendship over a “paddock maggot”.)
• Can you get away with it (thats the biggy people, More likely that you are the more likely you will be to do it. Your only cheating if you get caught).

Many males have a bond and this can’t be broken by a 5minute long GF or a wife of ten years. Many mates welcome the invitation to “cop a feel” of their little piece of paradise. I would have to say I’m a fan and have never shirked a mates friendly advances to a woman i have been involved with (or a toe or two haha). The key is to be upfront with your mates “Jeez your missus’s tits look good, how do they feel??” or “What time do her legs open bro”. Even a little back handed compliment to her wouldn’t go astray “You look really hot, Have you lost weight or something”. Blood is thicker than water and the immortal Bro’s before Hoe’s. If you get caught with  your hand in the cookie jar, Don’t be a cat and fess upto the boys and stop being childish. Chances are your mates already know and are just having a good laugh about it!!

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