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I was sitting on my couch last night watching the story of a young man who went from 650 pounds down to 250.  To be honest, the weight loss story was a bore but the dating regime that followed his 400 pound offload was quite interesting!

The lad, whos name escapes me, (lets call him Sally The Dumptruck) is pushing 30. STD has never had a kiss, let alone a date before. His Personal Trainer decided it was time to throw him in the deep end and mingle with people of the opposite sex.

After attending some short “dating for dummies” courses, STD tucked his loose skin into his underpants, slipped into his number 1′s, doused himself in Old Spice and beelined to Pearl, the hive for the nights MEOW gathering.

STD struggled. He forgot to bring the most important thing… game. After leaving twice to get fresh air, STD managed to strike up a conversation with 2 cougars. “I’m guessing you are both in your mid-30′s” was STD’s pick up line. These mid 50′s ladies were taken aback by his complement (they missed the blatant lie) and it looked like STD was making good headway.  STD’s handbrake however was, once again, his game. This time he left and did not return.

STD aside, the quality of woman at the MEOW gathering was something else! Whether they showed up for the younger men or their chance to get their well waited break on TV I’m not sure. To be honest, I was left both slightly turned on and inspired to host a MEOW gathering right here in God’s own.

So, here is my request to you WIRB readers:  Pinch your mum’s and/or older sisters phone, send out mass text’s to their single, but not limited to single, friends and lets organise a MEOW night. And lets face it, you’re not a man ’til you get your Cougar wings!

P.S. Sally The Dumptruck eventually lost his virginty. He almost got a foursome too the tinny prick!!

Sláinte

Barney Whiterats

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