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Recently a website called Ashley Madison caught the attention and imagination of the WIRB team.

Their trademarked slogan is “Life is short. Have an affair“. All immediate thoughts went to “oooohhhhh yeeeeah!” Then I started to think about it. This is a website that is designed to facilitate and help people in relationships engage in extra-marital affairs. Is that ok?

For some people it must be.

I read a letter sent to ZM from a chick who recently signed up to Ashley Madison.

She describes herself as a normal 34 year old chick with a libido of a guy. She wants it all the time. Nothing wrong with that. She is quick to point out that she is single and has come off a line of failed relationships. She even goes on to say that an ex cheated on her a lot and how devastating that was to her.

Now she is knowingly playing the part of the other woman.

Interesting that she is pretty sure all the guys she has been with are married and how she wants to slap their wives for not looking after their men, yet she points out she couldn’t look after her own!

I am not burying my head in the sand and saying (in a toffee nosed English accent) “this is just not cricket” because it has always happened. For centuries people have had affairs. Apparently in places like France & Italy it is still socially acceptable for husbands to have mistresses (not that the wives are that happy about it). Adults have made a conscious decision to follow their loins, rather than their hearts. They are not breaking any laws (in most countries). Koran followers will have a different view……

It was the catalyst for Dave's lower brack strains

This is a touchy subject. Perspective is a wonderful thing. How relaxed would this chick be if it was her husband meeting up with women?

Guys think about this stuff all the time. Sex is on the brain. Guys will check out a nice piece of tail that walks past (it’s called window shopping). Guys will use images of other women when getting to know themselves a little better. They will put themselves in a fantasy scenario where they are the most desirable man on God’s oil-stained Earth. Threesomes (2 girls, one guy) is easily the most popular male fantasy. There is a big difference between fantasy and reality though.

Is it ever ok to cheat? What about open marriages? Is there always one partner that is more into it than the other? What about people in marriages where one of them can’t have sex anymore (due to injury or illness). Is it ok to cheat then? People have needs.

What is the motivation? Is it primal? Do guys need to do it because we are essentially animals with an urge to procreate? Is it the thrill of the chase? Is it because of moral impairment due to booze/drugs? Is it to break the boredom of life? Is it to make yourself feel better/wanted? Whatever it is, it will be for selfish reasons.

The owner of the website argues that it is for people that for people who don’t want to oppress their true selves – that it is unhealthy to do so. He essentially keep coming back to the point that this is not a new concept. His website is not making people cheat. Is he justifying it to himself? Perhaps, but he makes a valid point.

I wonder how the ZM letter chick REALLY feels. Anyone can justify anything in their minds. She can put a positive spin on being smashed by two guys in front of a crowd in an Auckland bar if she wants to. I bet that scenario played out all because they told her she is “pretty” & “hot”. Every guy I know has said things like that to get into a girls pants!

The one thing girls have over guys is they can have sex whenever they want to. A guy can’t. A girl will always find a willing participant. Guys, as a rule have to work for it.

Cheating is OK…. from a certain point of view. Cheating will always come with collateral damage though, so be prepared for the fall out.

Have fun – be safe.

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