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As euphoria descends upon Londontown, along with tens of thousands of tourists and well wishers, there are two people absolutely shitting themselves about the upcoming nuptials. The first is the head of anti-terrorism, the second is the poor bastard who has to clean all the horse shit and cheap wedding decorations like paper flags and confetti.

Prince William seems to be a pretty on to it kind of guy. Aside from his balding hair, he will take things in his stride. Kate Middleton is a bit of a fox who is definitely a level or three up in the looks department, but she never has to work again. Gone are the days where she has to feel the pressure of bearing a son for the King!

WIRB has had some foresight into the musical pickings for the nuptuals and we took the time to send the lovebirds an array of songs that we felt would compliment their day (and make the commoners on the Middleton side a little more comfortable).

From the Office of WIRB

To: HRH William of Wales & Miss K Middleton

C/- Buckingham Palace

Dear Billy & K-Dawg,

Crazy times on that knees up on that un-disclosed European island (wink-wink). It was awesome to see Kate nail you in those shot rounds haha! Especially seeing you made up the Royal drinking decree and still used the wrong hand.

Don’t worry, Verbal Kent said that didn’t see anything when he was doing body shots off your Mrs. Holy Hukanui apologises for going on about gingas so much. He forgot your bro was one. In fairness his argument was sound stating he thought he was German after seeing those photos and that he is probably only your half brother anyway.

Here are the songs we talked to you about for your wedding. Gutted we missed the stag party – you should have picked us up in your Helicoptor. Oh well. See what you think about these:

Background Pre Wedding

 

Heard it was your Dad’s favourite song as well. You could use it as an instrumental as well. Up-vibe and happy. It sets the scene well.

Wedding March

 

Emotional. Ties in with your name and all the Royal bling and shit.

Signing of the Register

 

The KING of Rock sings an ode to your Princess who gets your rocks off! Good times.

Exiting the Abbey

Great song by QUEEN! This should be the only Queen singing we reckon. Keep that other one away from taking any part. Elton John was good in the 70′s and he should fucking stay there.

First Dance

Classic Tom Jones. This ties in with Kates new surname being “Of Wales” and is also an excellent version of the song written by PRINCE. There is a bonus to watching this clip. If you need inspiration for some dance moves for your first song, check out Sir Tom shaking it from 1.50 – 2.15. Outstanding.

Good luck bro, hope it all goes well. If you need a bit of mood setting for the, err after match, you know, the slaying of the Dragon so to speak, Ben Harper’s version of this song had a 100% strike rate at 23 Dillon St, Blenheim between the years of 2000 – 2003.

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