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Welcome back WIRB pagans. We have been on spiritual journey of entitlement.

Yes, our attempt at taking over the world is now well and truly under way. Like all good Russian spies, we have managed to stay out of the papers, laid low and worked on our vodka drinking abilities.

We have spread our seed far and wide. To outsiders, this looked like the band breaking up, but solitude gives a man time to think – to plan – to prepare….. and to also observe native birds in their own environments. When I say native, I mean local and when I say birds I mean local hot girls.

The team is no longer local. The global on-slaught has begun, though no one was keen to go to China or either Korea’s, mainly due to the inability to source an ample supply of chicken nuggets. There is a possibility of a Singapore or Hong Kong correspondent, but it does depend on what Verbal Kent’s Mrs tells him is going to happen.

Enough about that for now. Today is the first day of the rest of your life – well at least until the Mayan calendar ends on 21 December 2012, then it’s all over rover. Might as well enjoy it. Speaking of seed spreading, do it. What have you got to lose? Get a girl pregnant? No problem – by the time it arrives, you have to pay two months child support – no dramas.

The pisser about the date is do you risk not buying Christmas presents. Catch 22. Maybe the Mayans were good humoured. Imagine being in their shoes and 2000 odd years ago wetting themselves laughing about how everyone will panic buy, crushing themselves to get into malls in the last two shopping days before the big one.

Also, what made me wonder is the actual timing. When the world ends, will it base itself on GMT? Would that mean the world will end in the UK 12 hours after it does in New Zealand? If that is the case, Samoa will be spewing they didn’t stay on the other side of the date line.

Oh well, shit happens. Happy fucking new year!

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